


At The Beginning

by Mara97



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Can you tell I am a big book nerd?, Childhood Friends, Conspiracy Theorist Seung gil lee, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, Light Angst, M/M, Neighbours, Pop Culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara97/pseuds/Mara97
Summary: Seung-gil Lee didn't like people, especially people his own age. So he wasn't in any way or form happy that his new neighbours had a boy his age. Especially since said boy insisted on being friends. Seung-gil expected his life to change for the worse, in the end, it changed for the better.





	At The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katsuki_Yuuri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katsuki_Yuuri/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Z, I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS PIECE OF GARBAGE! (No, it isn't bad, but I just grabbed a semi-finished piece of work and finished it. I could have done better--if life wasn't such an ass. Anyway, I hope you still enjoy it, though you read the majority of it already (though there are many changes--why keeps my writing changing?)
> 
> Song: At the Beginning - Anastasia (I love that movie so much)

 

Seung-gil wasn’t happy. He really wasn’t happy. Their previous neighbours had been nice. They were an elderly couple who, for a change, didn’t smother him too much. And they had a dog! Especially during summer, when there was no school to go to, Seung-gil spend at least an hour of his day walking their dog. Sometimes together with the couple, sometimes alone. It was nice because they didn’t ask too many questions, didn’t nag about his day and they didn’t want to know if he had made any friends at school. He hadn’t. He didn’t like people, especially the kids his age who were all about screaming at the top of their lungs, stealing other people’s pens and struggling to add two plus two together. It was easy, the answer was four! It was basic math!

 

Long story short, Seung-gil loved the next door neighbours and was devastated by the announcement that they would move away. To his own embarrassment, Seung-gil had sobbed and asked them not to move, that maybe aliens would move in next to them and abduct Seung-gil. (In hindsight, watching that alien documentary hadn’t been his smartest idea).

 

His crying and yelling have done a little good. The two ladies moved out of their home after a while and just before second grade started, a new family moved in.

 

The only reason he knew about it was that he heard the moving truck from his room, and his parents mentioned it during dinner. But with books to keep him company, Seung-gil couldn’t care less. He was prepared if the aliens tried to abduct him—he had read enough books about it! Though his mother occasionally had to help him understanding some words. Sometimes English was too hard, especially in the more ‘grown-up’ books.

 

To his chagrin, his mother knocked on his bedroom door, forcing Seung-gil to push his bookmark between the pages and tuck away the book underneath his pillow. His mum still wasn’t too happy with him reading all day while he could play outside with his peers.

 

“Seung-gil, dear,” she said, opening the door and entering the room.

 

“Our new neighbours gave us a heads up that they would visit soon.”

 She said and then she eyed his Batman pyjamas with mild amusement. “You should get changed.”

 

So the neighbours _did_ move in. He still hoped that it all had been a dream. Seung-gil wasn’t happy about it. Now he wouldn’t know how ‘Charlotte’s Web’ would end and he had to forgo his comfortable pyjama’s for presentable clothes. They better must not be aliens or Seung-gil was going to lock himself up in his room and never come out of it.

 

“Fine,” he grumbled, noticing that his mum hadn’t left yet. “I will get dressed and come downstairs, maybe.”

 

His mum smiled approvingly and closed the door behind her. Sighing, Seung-gil grabbed a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, underwear and socks from his closet and tossed them on his bed. Now, his mum had said they would visit _soon_ but soon wasn’t a measurable time, something Seung-gil had picked up last year in 1st grade. So Seung-gil opted to ignore his clothes and he picked his book up again. Another chapter wouldn’t hurt.

 

Absorbed in his book, Seung-gil didn’t notice the time. Before he knew it, ‘soon’ already had passed. He hadn’t even noticed the loud doorbell or the creaking of the stairs. This left Seung-gil startled by the soft knock on the door. Slamming his book close and stuffed it under his pillow, he jumped off the bed to get dressed. He grabbed his shirt, trying to put it on, only to realise he had to pull off his other shirt first.

 

Wrestling himself free from his t-shirt—he was already outgrowing it, which sucked because he _loved_ that shirt—Seung-gil mentally celebrated when he managed to get the shirt off. He finally eyed the door, hoping that his mum wasn’t too mad, and had waited for him to make some kind of noise. It wasn’t his mum that was standing in the door way.

 

A boy his age stood in the opening, eyes wide and lips curled up into a crooked smile. He was missing a few teeth. He had black hair like Seung-gil, but his skin was much darker than Seung-gil’s, and to Seung-gil’s chagrin he dared to be _taller_ than him.

 

“Who are you?” Seung-gil asked, putting on a clean shirt. “And what are you doing in my house?”

 

It wasn’t his house, but it sounded cool saying ‘my house’, it made him look older, a bit more mature.

 

“Your parents let me in—my parents are downstairs actually,” the boy explained, not put off by Seung-gil’s rudeness. “And I’m Phichit Chulanont, your new neighbour!”

 

This was worse than aliens. Now his parents could force him to spend time with Phichit. They lived next to each other and were the same age. Now his parents would expect him to make a _friend_.

 

“Seung-gil Lee,” Seung-gil introduced himself after a bit, not too happy about it. He realised that his mother wouldn’t be happy if he were rude. “Do you have a dog?”

 

Phichit blinked in surprise. Seung-gil realised that he had forgotten to say ‘nice to meet you’, though it wasn’t nice at all. Unless Phichit had a dog, a lot could be forgiven that way.

 

“No,” Phichit said. “But I have hamsters. You can see them if you want to.”

 

Seung-gil wasn’t sure what the appeal was of hamsters, they were much smaller than dogs and very fragile, but on the other hand, he was much better with animals than people.

 

“Sure, why not?” Seung-gil said.

 

Phichit’s face lit up, his toothy smile grew even wider. Could he do anything else than smile?

 

“I can show them now,” Phichit said excitedly. “Though maybe you should change your pants, Batman.”

 

Seung-gil didn’t do being flustered, so he wasn’t actually blushing. It was just the summer heat that decided to hit him the moment he looked down, realising he was still wearing his Batman pyjamas. Or at least the bottom.

 

“I’m not Batman,” Seung-gil said as he threw Phichit a glare. “And get out of my room, I won’t undress with you in it.”

 

Phichit was evil. He was giggling loudly as he left the room, leaving Seung-gil a flustered mess. Phichit Chulanont was going to be a nuisance and was worse than aliens. Aliens at least would be cool. Terrifying, but cool.

 

~*~

 

It turned out that the Chulanonts neither were aliens or as bad as Seung-gil originally had expected. Phichit’s parents were nice, all kindness and bright smiles. Well, Phichit shared his smile with his mum, who was a social butterfly. Phichit’s father was a bit shyer, but still kind. However, that didn’t mean he spends a lot of time with the Chulanonts. Seung-gil still preferred to sit in his room and read when the Chulanonts visited during the summer, and as soon as school started, he spent his lunch breaks somewhere safe and out of the sight of other kids, including Phichit who was in his year. His second year would suck even more now.

 

The moment the school bell rang, the one that announced lunch break, Seung-gil shoved his stuff into his backpack and scurried out of the room. The schoolyard was large but mostly empty. There was some playground equipment, like swings and a slide, and of course a large sandbox. However, most people dug up the worn balls, hoops and crayons and went to town on the schoolyard. Seung-gil ignored the people who made a mad dash to the shed with school equipment and headed the opposite direction, Spiderman backpack securely strapped on his back.

 

He didn’t encounter anyone as he snuck towards his tree. Well, the school tree he had claimed unofficial property over. Checking if there was no teacher watching, Seung-gil climbed up the tree with practised ease and settled down on the lowest branch. His mum had scolded him after he had broken his wrist falling out of the tree. That wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t climbed so high to remain out of sight. Wanting to avoid another broken wrist and a coddling mother, Seung-gil had decided to sit low and hope that nobody would find him.

 

Making himself comfortable on the sturdy tree branch, Seung-gil unzipped his bag. Pushing his lunch aside—he wasn’t that hungry—he took out a battered copy of ‘The BFG’. He had finished 'Mathilda’ the previous evening and simply couldn’t wait to start the next book written by Roald Dahl. It was nice to see clever main characters, especially the ones who shared his desire to read, like Mathilda in 'Mathilda’. It was somehow better than the heroic characters he had seen in other books. These guys just swung around swords and needed friends to figure out puzzles. They needed friends.

 

Starting the story, Seung-gil blocked out his surroundings. Well, aside from the shrill sound of the bell that would announce the end of lunch break. Now it was a matter of spending twenty-five minutes of reading, surviving the afternoon class, go home and read a bit more, eat dinner, more reading and finishing the book. That sounded like a great idea.

 

It seemed that, however, not everyone shared his opinion on reading. Or at least  _someone_ didn’t. Seung-gil just had finished the first chapter when something hit his leg, causing him to jerk slightly.

 

Frowning at his book, Seung-gil decided to ignore it, filing it as a 'one-time thing’. But as the second thing hit his leg, and a third one followed a minute-or-so later, he pushed a bookmark between the pages and lowered his book.

 

Phichit Chulanont stood below  _his_  tree, looking up at him with a grin plastered on his face. A dozen-or-so rocks were scattered below the tree, which gave Seung-gil the satisfaction to know that Phichit didn’t have a good aim.

 

“What do you want?” Seung-gil snapped, not bothering with his manners. He wanted to be left alone with his book, and that Phichit was his neighbour gave him no privileges whatsoever.

 

Phichit huffed, clearly not impressed with his grumpiness. “Do you spend every lunch break reading?” he asked.

 

Surprised, Seung-gil nodded. “Yes,” he added as vocal confirmation.

 

“And shouldn’t you be spending time with friends?” Phichit continued. “I mean, isn’t it lonely?”

 

Seung-gil shrugged. “I don’t have friends,” he said nonchalantly as if it didn’t sting a little. “And books never disappoint me.”

 

Phichit didn’t look surprised. “Make room, I’m coming up.”

 

Seung-gil surprised himself by not even considering to protest. He scooted over on the branch, giving Phichit the room to sit down as soon as he reached the same height.

 

“Why are you up here?” Seung-gil asked as Phichit settled down. “I mean; don’t you have friends to be with?”

 

Phichit offered him a bright smile. “You’re my friend. So to answer your question, I  _am_  spending time with my friend.”

 

It was hard to figure Phichit out. Seung-gil just had said he didn’t have friends, so yeah, he doesn’t see Phichit as a friend. This didn’t deter Phichit though. Maybe it was time to dig up the box with the theories that the Chulanonts might be aliens, trying to invade earth. Though he wasn’t sure if becoming friends with him was really that useful for their mission statement. After all, Seung-gil didn’t have influential family or friends—actually, all Seung-gil could offer was a vast knowledge of kids’ books and what to read and whatnot. Oh well, maybe he should get more books on aliens the next time he visited the library. Maybe this way he could figure out how Phichit worked.

****

~*~

 

Even though he was friends with Phichit—yes mum, he _had_ a friend and no he didn’t hang out with Phichit to get her off his back—Seung-gil still wasn’t good with people, especially _younger_ people.

 

With that knowledge, Seung-gil wasn’t surprised to draw blank and stare at a random kid sitting against their tree. Their tree. Plural. His and Phichit’s. Not that he would ever tell Phichit that. Phichit would have a field day if he knew that Seung-gil actually cared about him. But, back to the issue—Seung-gil had no idea what to do about the kid sitting under their tree. Maybe walk off? But Phichit would expect him to be here.

 

“What are you doing here?” Seung-gil asked.

 

The kid flinched, looking up at him with big, damp eyes. Seriously, had the kid been crying? Now he felt even worse. He was most likely terrifying the kid, which would result in even more tears. And while Seung-gil was bad with kids, he was _horrible_ with crying kids.

 

The kid looked terrified, eyes growing wetter and bottom lip trembling.

 

“You can remain here if you want,” Seung-gil hurriedly added. “I mean, I don’t own this tree—um, are you a first grader?”

 

This earned him an undignified pout. “I’m a _second grader_ ,” the kid said. “But I just transferred here, and the school is so _big,_ and all the people are new and—”

 

The kid stopped talking abruptly, his gaze settled on someone behind Seung-gil.

 

Before Seung-gil could move, someone slung an arm over his shoulder, pulling him against another warm body. He so hoped that it was Phichit, or he was willing to kick the person against their shin.

 

"I can't believe you're making friends," Phichit said cheerfully. Based on his experience with Phichit, the guy was probably offering the kid a 'my friend isn't entirely hopeless' look. "What's your name?"

 

The kid looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here, which was fair. Seung-gil probably had frightened the kid big time, and Phichit’s sudden presence wouldn’t help either. They were two fourth graders, which was quite the difference from a second grader.

 

“Guang Hong Ji,” the kid answered. “I, um, can leave if you guys want—I mean, this must be your tree.”

 

Phichit hummed, neither in agreement or disagreement. "Okay, I'm Phichit," Phichit pulled him even closer. The guy had no sense of space whatsoever. "And this is Seung-gil. Don’t fear him. Everyone thinks he's a ninja, but he's actually just a big nerd. That's a secret though," Phichit added in a whisper, offering Guang Hong a wink.

 

Guang Hong relaxed a little, which made Seung-gil glad that Phichit had a lot of younger cousins, cousins he spends a lot of time with. If someone was good with younger kids, it had to be Phichit. Though he had to correct Phichit on one matter.

 

"I'm not a secret nerd," Seung-gil corrected Phichit. "I’m carrying around a Spiderman backpack. The library staff knows me by name."

 

“Why do people think you’re a ninja?” Guang Hong asked, curiosity and interest clear in his voice. At least he was no longer frightened. “You don’t look so scary.”

 

Seung-gil wanted to point out that just a while ago, Guang Hong was rather afraid of him. But Phichit would scold him for making things worse and would tell his mum, which would lead to no library visit this weekend.

 

“Once, Seung-gil knocked out someone’s teeth with a book,” Phichit told Guang Hong. “Plus he looks scary—his scowl has terrified people up to sixth grade.”

 

Guang Hong was looking at Seung-gil with amazement as if he was actually some kind of ninja. That was new. Most kids were terrified of him.

 

“That’s so cool—maybe you can become a superhero in the future?”

 

It came to no surprise that Phichit looked inches away from laughing. Seung-gil, becoming a superhero? That wouldn’t work out, at all. Superheroes had to be athletic, insanely clever or required some kind of mutant-like powers. Seung-gil only had a liking for reading and a grumpy look. It wasn’t even Medusa worthy of scary.

 

“I think he would be a suit. You know, working in the background and all? But what about lunch? You want to join us?”

 

A suit would be too flattering. Seung-gil didn’t know how to dress well, his mum still picked his clothing most of the time. Apparently, colours could clash…

 

Guang Hong’s face lit up. “Really?” he asked, voice filled with excitement. “I would love to.”

 

~*~

Seung-gil had been over to the Chulanonts plenty of times. After all, they were the only household in his neighbourhood his family was close to. The had a friendly relationship with the rest, but it was his mum and Phichit’s mum who got along really well. Phichit’s dad once said they were like long-lost sisters. However, most of the time it was him and his parents visiting the Chulanonts. Sometimes he visited Phichit all on his own, but those visits were usually only a couple of hours long and were mostly school related. He never stayed for dinner without his parents, and especially never staying over for the night. After all, he lived next door, and his parents were always home. Phichit had suggested a sleepover a few times, but Seung-gil, being way more at ease in his own home than in any other, had always declined the offer.

 

It seemed he didn't have a choice this time whenever he stayed over at the Chulanonts or not. It was a big, fat, yes.

 

His great-grandmother, the grandmother of his father, has passed away recently. The issue was, she still lived in South Korea. His parents would be going to arrange the funeral, but they had opted to leave Seung-gil at home for three reasons. Firstly, Seung-gil had never met his great-grandmother. Secondly, Seung-gil still had school, though it wasn't like he was missing any big tests during the time his parents were away. And lastly, Seung-gil didn't do well in planes. When visiting their aunt, they had decided to take the plane. She _did_ live in America, but it was still quite the drive otherwise. Seung-gil had been sick their entire stay with his aunt, and once they arrived back home, Seung-gil had been called in sick for an entire week. Seung-gil and planes didn't work well together it turned out. He wasn’t even afraid of heights. It just seemed that motion sickness kicked in big time during flying.

 

But, of course, being just eleven-years-old, his parents didn't want to leave him alone. So he was stuck at the Chulanonts for almost a week. It could be worse, definitely, but that didn't mean he was less nervous about it. While familiar, their house was the same layout-wise, it still wasn't home. And Seung-gil liked home. It was his safe-haven, the place where nobody bothered him.

 

"You're okay?" Phichit asked, peering from over his comic book, eyes set with worry. "You haven't read a single page since we started, and it has been..." Phichit checked the digital clock that stood on his nightstand. "Twenty minutes. Usually, it takes an explosion to get you out of your reading flow."

 

Blinking at the printer pages of ‘Inkdeath’ Seung-gil let out a sigh and closed it. He didn't even bother to push a bookmark between the pages, knowing the exact progress he made today. None. He was still on the first page of the book; a book he had been anticipating to read after reading ‘Inkheart’ and ‘Inkspell’, which was this book’s predecessors, and originally ‘Dragon Rider’, which introduced him to the author. But his heart wasn’t in it for whatever reason.

 

"It isn't home," Seung-gil said as if it should make much sense to Phichit. "I—I don't like not being 'home', and the guest room freaks me out."

 

Seung-gil clamped his jaw shut the moment he confessed his fear for the guest bedroom. It was unfamiliar, white and bare. It didn't have anything that could make it 'home'. Back at his place, the third bedroom has been turned into a study. He genuinely liked the study, with the sofa bed, the wall lined with books and the wooden desk with the picture frames. It was Seung-gil's second favourite place after his own bedroom.

 

"Oh," Phichit said, closing his own comic book and tossing it on his nightstand. "Is that why you don't like sleeping over? Because it isn’t ‘home’?"

 

Flustered and embarrassed, Seung-gil nodded.

 

Phichit smiled, in a manner that resembled his father a lot. It was weird to see the difference between the two different smiles. Sometimes the smiles, often bright and bold, resembled Phichit's mother, while the kinder and softer smiles resembled Phichit's father. Seung-gil knew that he resembled his own father a lot. Quiet, shy, a bit stoic. His mum was louder and expressive, the polar opposite of his dad. Maybe that's why they were together, because they were different. They complimented each other in one way or another.

 

"You can sleep in my room if you want?" Phichit suggested, hopping off his bed and slipping into a pair of slippers. "I could ask my dad for an air mattress if you want, or..." Phichit's cheeks darkened a little. "We can share my bed? It's a twin bed, it's large enough for two people, and it won’t be awkward!" he added.

 

Seung-gil didn't even try not to smile, though he tried to hide it by looking at his book. There were only a few people who got the chance to see Phichit like this—being a dork. Because at school everyone thought he was cool and awesome, especially since he wasn't afraid to hang out with Seung-gil. Most people either feared his default glare or ninja skills (which didn’t exist).

 

On the other hand, it was an exchange between them in private setting. Very little people saw Phichit being a dork, and even fewer people saw Seung-gil smile. It was an accomplishment to get Seung-gil to smile. Though, if he had to believe Phichit, making him smile was more like a small miracle—it was special, and Seung-gil knew that Phichit tried his best to make him smile. Actually, it was moments like these that Seung-gil was happy Phichit was his best friend—even if he was annoying most of the time.

 

"—I mean, two eighth graders said that at some point, boys and girls aren't allowed in the same bed because their parents said so because they fear ‘adult things’,” Phichit scrunched up his face mid-ramble. “Nevertheless, it shouldn't be awkward between us, because our parents don’t mind and I don’t like the sound of ‘adult things’. Also, we’re both guys!"

 

Seung-gil shuddered at the mention of 'adult things'. His mum had said that sooner or later he would get the talk, but for now, he was blissfully unaware of what it meant to be an adult and what exactly adult things were. Being an adult sounded like a lot of work.

 

With 'yes, sharing a bed was fine' on the tip of his tongue, Seung-gil mentally prepared to meet Phichit's gaze. Sometimes it was still hard to meet other people’s gaze, even if he knew the person for ages. Though, the reason that it was terrifying to meet Phichit's gaze was that Phichit could read him like an open book. No matter how blank his gaze was, Phichit knew exactly what Seung-gil was thinking, and that was scary. Seung-gil prided himself in masking his emotions, because most of the time, you got made fun of having emotions as a guy. (Exhibit one: Guang Hong Ji. Though Guang Hong had two personal bodyguards who were willing to do nearly everything to keep him out of harm's way).

 

"You're smiling," Phichit blurted out.

 

Startled, Seung-gil abruptly looked up to meet Phichit's gaze. Phichit was eyeing him with awe and adoration. His entire face glowing.

 

"That's the third smile of this year," Phichit continued. "That's more than last year," a short pause followed in which Phichit shifted nervously, breaking eye contact. "You should smile more. I think girls would like that. They already think you're cool, and if you're less terrifying, maybe one of them wants to be your girlfriend."

 

Oh, right. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend was the absolute rage nowadays. Seung-gil's face fell, and he joined Phichit in fidgeting around. "I don't think I like girls that much," Seung-gil admitted. "Plus I don't like smiling—not for people who don't matter."

 

Phichit remained quiet for a while before sighing softly. "It's nearly bedtime," he said slowly, most likely eyeing his digital alarm. "What about this, we ask if you can sleep in my bed, beg my dad to make his famous hot chocolate and after that move your stuff here? Then it's almost like home."

 

Seung-gil's heart fluttered a bit as he nodded and got off Phichit's bed, stepping in his own slippers. "I love your dad's hot chocolate," he said for the lack of a better response. "As long as your parents don't mind, of course. It already must be a burden to them, me staying here for an entire week."

 

"My parents adore you," Phichit chided. "Now, before bedtime actually hits, let's get downstairs and cash in on the hot chocolate. Mum and dad are much more agreeable before bedtime than after."

 

Before Seung-gil got the chance to answer, Phichit grabbed his wrist and pulled him along. It was silly, he wouldn't get lost, after all, the house was the same as his own. But even as he voiced his thought, Phichit just laughed and tightened his grip on his wrist. It was as if he let go, Seung-gil would disappear. Maybe Phichit has been looking forward to a sleepover way more than he let on. After all, Phichit was the type to spend as much time together with his friends as possible, especially out of school. So this really shouldn’t come as a surprise, to see Phichit excited over something as simple as a sleepover. And maybe, if Phichit was this excited, Seung-gil could make an exception and enjoy himself too. After all, Phichit was the second closest thing that came to being home.

****

~*~

 

It was war.

 

Okay, war was a bit of an exaggeration, but still, stuff happened. Elbows were jammed in other people their ribs, hair was pulled and fingers poked eyeballs. This was one of the reasons Seung-gil hated lab-work. There were enough lab coats, but only a few were in a decent state. Most were partly scorched, holes littered the sleeve and most of the cuffs were threadbare. Not to mention the different sizes—oversized lab coats weren’t comfortable to wear, and small ones were even worse. But the lab coats weren’t the only lab equipment that was more often a miss than a hit. The safety goggles were horrid when it came to size. Hence Seung-gil robbed the rack with safety goggles first. An oversized lab coat was annoying, but if the glasses weren’t comfortable, it would be an hour of hell.

 

Grabbing two glasses that deemed respectable for high school standards, Seung-gil turned around and sought out Phichit. They hadn’t agreed on pairing up yet, but he assumed they would. It was the second week of high school, and neither he or Phichit had found a click with fellow classmates. And today it was a free-for-all partner-wise. Plus, Phichit was most likely looking for two lab coats out of habit. Two different sizes because Seung-gil proudly had outgrown Phichit, by an inch or so. 

 

Spacing out, waiting for Phichit to escape the war zone of white coats and teenagers, Seung-gil was too late to notice the girl striding towards him.

 

 “Hey,” she said, a smile was painted on her lips. “Want to pair up?”

 

Seung-gil blinked, suppressing the urge to look over his shoulder to see if she was talking to anybody else. This was new—back in primary and middle school nobody even dared to ask. It was Phichit who was asked for projects, and declined all the offers to group up with Seung-gil.

 

“I, um, actually,” Seung-gil shifted nervously on the spot. “Was going to work with Phichit,” he gestured to the war zone.

 

His classmate eyed him with scepticism. “The two came from the same middle school, right?” she asked, making Seung-gil even more nervous. Why were people suddenly interested in him?

 

“Yes, we’re friends,” he said curtly. Phichit had said he had to be nice to their classmates, as maybe Seung-gil could get a better reputation here in high school than back in primary or middle school. But the girl made him uncomfortable, so he refused to be kind. “What is it to you?”

 

The girl looked surprised but wasn’t put off by his rudeness, at all. Teenagers and hormones were weird—he missed the good old days that people were scared of him because he had a natural resting bitch face.

 

“I thought someone as cool as you have, well, _cooler_ friends. Nothing against Phichit, but he is a bit dorky,” she held her head up high in confidence. “Though, if you change your mind, the offer still stands.”

 

She turned heel and walked towards her girlfriends, who were giggling and whispering. Seung-gil also noticed that the girl was blushing a little, which grew worse when her friends kept on talking and giggling.

 

Did she just try to ask him out? And she thought he was the cool one? Yes, Seung-gil had forgone his Spiderman backpack for a ‘normal’ one, but that was solely because it couldn’t hold the books he needed for classes. Didn’t she notice his Batman t-shirt? Or his hardcover copy of ‘Mockingjay’ that _laid_ on his desk. And foremost, Phichit was _cool_. People loved him back in primary and middle school—most people had asked _Phichit_ why he was still friends with Seung-gil.

 

“Hey, I got you a coat,” Phichit said, hurrying over to him. “Um, of course, we don’t have to pair up if you don’t want to, I saw you talking with—”

 

Seung-gil took the coat from Phichit, offering him a small smile. “I said no, I mean, I already got your glasses.”

 

Phichit beamed. “She probably likes you,” he pointed out.

 

“We’re fourteen,” Seung-gil countered. “Also—you’re my best friend. She called you uncool, which is totally untrue. You’re the coolest. I wouldn’t date anyone who doesn’t like you.”

 

Thankfully, Phichit was terrible at picking up lies. Because there was only _one_ person Seung-gil would feel right dating—aside from the fact they were just fourteen and dating should be the least of their worries—and that person would be Phichit. Phichit didn’t have the best self-esteem, though he would never vocally tell that to anyone, especially Seung-gil. So if Phichit thought he was uncool, Seung-gil would break his promise that he wouldn’t date anyone who though Phichit was uncool.

 

On the other hand, he had yet to figure out how exactly his sexuality was holding up. He knew that two men and two women could be together—his previous neighbours were two women who have been living together for _ages_ and were in love. The fact that they hadn’t been legally married for a long time never deterred them.

 

“Should we get started?” Phichit asked. “I mean, the teacher is already glaring at us, and the rest already has a head-start. Maybe the teacher will deduct points if we don’t finish in time? Chemistry never has been my strong point.”

 

Grinning—though Seung-gil knew it was more manic-like than anything else—he picked up their equipment and walked over to the table he had claimed beforehand.

 

“The day I’m letting you fail in chemistry is the day they have concrete evidence that the moon landing is faked.”

 

Phichit blinked in confusion. “But the moon landing isn’t faked?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Phichit’s smile lit up the room.

 

~*~

 

They had an important test upcoming Monday. Seung-gil had studied, and biology was one of his best subjects. No problems there. Phichit, however, hadn’t studied yet and his biology grade was cry-worthy. So, Seung-gil was supposed to tutor Phichit and save his sorry ass for flopping the upcoming test. However, Phichit had different priorities.

 

The library was pretty much empty. They were only a few people who were studying, the rest had opted to go home. After all, it was well past four o clock on a Friday. Everyone had something better to do—Seung-gil included. His newly released copy of ‘Fearless’, which was the second book in the series, was lying on his nightstand, ready to be read. That thing was actually the reason Seung-gil had bothered to study in advance. Now he had the entire weekend to read the book. But he couldn’t let Phichit fluke his test, it wouldn’t sit right with him. Prioritising his best friend over a book used to feel wrong—he wouldn’t have done it years ago. Nowadays, he couldn’t let his friends hanging.

 

“I don’t like him,” Phichit said as he peered over his study book.

 

Not bothering to hide his gaze like Phichit, Seung-gil watched the only other duo in the library. They were sitting pretty close to each other. _A bit too close_ his mind supplied, but Seung-gil ignored it. He wasn’t Phichit—he could let go, live with it.

 

“Leo is a good guy,” Seung-gil said, pushing Phichit’s head down so he was eyeing his notes instead of the other students. “And he’s Guang Hong’s tutor. If you were better in Spanish, you could have done it. But your Spanish is cry-worthy.”

 

Phichit let out a scandalised gasp. “You think _my_ Spanish is bad—have you ever heard your own?”

 

“I have, and it’s terrible, but I no longer have Spanish classes. However, we have a biology test coming up, and someone hasn’t studied yet.”

 

Thankfully, Phichit looked guilty.

 

“Fine—still, if he dares to break Guang Hong’s heart—”

 

Seung-gil swatted the back of Phichit’s head. “He’s fourteen, leave him be.”

 

“Really? You aren’t rooting for him to get a boyfriend?”

 

“No, not really,” Seung-gil lied.

 

It was a bit of a lie. Seung-gil wasn’t rooting for Guang Hong to get a boyfriend per se, but he had approved of Leo. The extensive Facebook stalking had helped, a lot. Not that Phichit knew that, and Seung-gil had strategically erased all evidence (aside from his notes on Leo—also known as Leo de la Iglesia—who he had stored in a folder called ‘porn’. There was no porn in that folder, but nobody would look at a sixteen-year-old weirdly if they had a porn folder. He knew Phichit had one). So, yeah, he cared about his friend’s happiness, but he wasn’t going to meddle with it like Phichit was planning on doing.

 

“So, you’re telling me that you don’t know anything about Leo, at all? I mean,” Phichit grinned innocently. “I know that he is a second-year student, but he looks a bit old. Our age at least. So do you think he’s held back a few years?”

 

Seung-gil had little redeeming qualities and a tonne of issues, and one of those issues was that he was a know it all. He was willing to fight anyone to get thing his way, especially if his way was _correct_. Another issue is that his brain-to-mouth filter, at least around Phichit, was shit.

 

“He’s fifteen, a second year. Not held back a single year. He is an average student, he mainly has female friends and he’s out. Bisexual. He isn’t too old for Guang Hong for gods’ sake, please focus on your homework. We have a test next Monday, and I want to finish my book.”

 

It took him a few seconds to realise he had just run his mouth, and Phichit was going to have a field day. Because he basically admitted that he had Facebook stalked Leo—which showed he cared.

 

“Knew you cared,” Phichit said gleefully. “Actually knew it beforehand, but I like to rile you up. You know, I was curious what kind of porn you watched—turns out you hide all your dirty secrets in your porn folder aside from actual porn.”

 

Shit. “How did you know my password?” Seung-gil asked, feeling fear run deep in his body. It was Phichit’s birthday because Seung-gil was terrible at being creative. And honestly, which friend has their best friend’s birthday as their password? None. But the count of people who had their crush’ birthday or name as their password. Oh dear. He was screwed.

 

Phichit’s grin was a bit forced. “I didn’t, you forgot to sign off.”

 

_Thank gods._

 

“Yes, fine, I care. Now, study.”

 

It didn’t work—but hey, Phichit was willing to do anything to avoid having to study, so Seung-gil shouldn’t have been surprised.

 

“I’m studying,” Phichit said, staring at him with a big grin on his face. “I’m studying you, or more like how you are still single. The older girls—the one who actually are looking for a stable relationship—like sensitive guys. The ones that won’t make fun of girls’ feelings, or who don’t judge them for dying over The Hunger Games movies and the hotshot actors.”

 

 _Liam Hemsworth was pretty handsome_ , his mind kindly supplied. _On the other hand, Thor._

 

“I don’t care that much about the movies, the books are better,” Seung-gil said, ignoring the urge to mention that yes, there were some hotshot actors. He hated puberty, and Phichit’s voice narrating his thoughts. Gay thoughts. He really should consider coming out because this was getting annoying. On the other hand, he didn’t want to lose Phichit. The closet was a pretty safe place.

 

Phichit rolled his eyes dramatically. “Not all book-based movies are bad. The Harry Potter movies are pretty great.”

 

“The Harry Potter movies are okay. But you were there, you’ve seen the animosity that was the Percy Jackson movie. I can’t believe they’re making another one.”

 

Softness and comfort smoothed out Phichit’s teasing expression. “I know. But you’re bias. I only have seen you throw a book twice out of frustration—which was a Percy Jackson and Harry Potter book might I remind you—and I lost count of how many books you’ve read.”

 

“Well,” Seung-gil crossed his arms and glaring at Phichit. “Some books are meant to be thrown with. The Half-Blood Prince still has scarred me for life and—”

 

Phichit nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that one was bad, but it was nothing compared The Mark of Athena. Your bloodcurdling scream when you threw the books across the room is still etched in mind. I thought the main character died, _at best_.”

 

“They might as well have died,” Seung-gil said, feeling himself tear up a little. He hated that book—it taunted him, and he seriously wondered how he had resisted the urge to set it on fire. “I hated that ending.”

 

“Hey, at least be happy that nothing happened to _him_. I know you’re attached to him.”

 

Wiping away the dampness before they could start to form tears, Seung-gil smiled thinly. “Don’t jinx it—there are still two books to go.”

 

A loud cough burst their happy little bubble, causing Phichit to yelp, nearly toppling off his chair. Realising that the sun was slowly setting, Seung-gil instinctively checked the clock. It was well past five—his parents would kill him if he missed dinner.

 

“Guang Hong,” Phichit wheezed, voice high-pitched and filled with guilt. “You gave me a near heart attack.”

 

A fourteen-year-old shouldn’t look this done with his life. But Guang Hong did look like that. Tired, a little frustrated and annoyed—if frustration and annoyance were even two different things.

 

“Phichit,” Guang Hong mimicked. “I’m the mean one? You are distracting Seung-gil, who is _willingly_ tutoring you. You know how he gets when you talk about his books. “

 

Phichit shrugged innocently under Guang Hong’s accusing gaze. It doesn’t make sense—as Guang Hong clearly wasn’t blaming him—but Seung-gil felt himself grow flustered, a healthy dose of shame washed over him. He was so predictable, one word about his books and he was gone.

 

“Yeah, well, you were more distracting,” Phichit argued. “So, you and Leo?”

 

“Oh seriously,” Guang Hong sounded annoyed, looked annoyed, and he was also flustered from head to toe. Poor guy. “Leave me and my love life alone till you get your head out of your behind and fix your own.”

 

Seung-gil hated the meaningful look he got from Guang Hong. Somehow, Guang Hong knew. Like, Seung-gil had never mentioned he is romantically interested in Phichit. On the other hand, after knowing each other for almost ten years, being joined at the hip and Seung-gil being very, very gay, this conclusion wasn’t too farfetched. (It wasn’t hard to figure out, considering the fact he never really liked women, at all. He just hadn’t come out of the closet yet).

 

“My love life is perfectly fine,” Phichit grumbled. “I have a hot date with biology and maybe this guy,” he gestured to Seung-gil. “If he’s still willing to tutor me.”

 

Rubbing his eyes, Seung-gil let out a deep sigh. “More like torture you, but fine. Just don’t whine when I call you out of bed at 2:00 in the night after finishing a book.”

 

Phichit beamed. “Deal.”

 

~*~

 

“We have a test tomorrow,” Phichit used as his greeting.

 

He loved Seung-gil, he really did, but it was well past midnight, he had been sleeping just fine, and tomorrow they had a test early. This wasn’t the time for a phone call.

 

“Technically today,” Seung-gil answered, voice filled with emotions that had nothing to do with the upcoming test. He sounded like he just—

 

“Are you okay?” Phichit asked, flicking a light and sitting upright in bed. “It sounds like you have been crying.”

 

Seung-gil sniffed, followed by a muted noise that most likely was him blowing his nose. “Regretfully started the book today,” Seung-gil explained.

 

Oh. Okay yes, that might explain a lot.

 

“Did they die?” Phichit asked.

 

“No,” it was odd to hear Seung-gil talk with a tight, emotion-filled voice. “It’s something else–but that doesn’t matter. I have to tell you something.”

 

Phichit hummed as a go-ahead. It wouldn’t be the first time Seung-gil had stopped mid-book and ranted to Phichit about whatever was bothering.

 

“I’m gay.”

 

Phichit seriously wondered where he learnt that many curse words, but that didn’t matter because right now he was mentally cursing up a storm. Because he didn’t see that coming—which made him a horrible friend. An awful friend. Because Seung-gil was his best friend and he never had realised it. Though a few things finally made sense.

 

“I’m sorry,” Seung-gil said, voice shattered into many delicate pieces. “This must be awkward for you, but I decided that you _deserved_ to know, you’re my best friend and—”

 

“I should be sorry,” Phichit blurted out, effectively cutting Seung-gil off. “You’re my best friend, I should have noticed, but I didn’t. And the sad part is that everything makes sense—the fact you never liked girls to begin with.” Taking a deep breath, he forced a few tears back. “I shouldn’t even be allowed to call myself your best friend.”

 

Seung-gil sniffed, which was followed by a chuckle. That Phichit was surprised was an understatement, because he heard Seung-gil laugh and cry within the span of ten minutes and it was like an early Christmas miracle, though they didn’t really celebrate Christmas.

 

“You don’t mind?” Seung-gil asked. “Me, you know, liking men?”

 

Phichit snorted. It was such a stupid question. Ten years of friendship weren’t going to be ruined by the fact that Seung-gil came out as gay. Heck, Phichit was actually happy Seung-gil confessed. Because suddenly the puzzle that was Seung-gil made a lot more sense. The interest in men, the support he offered Guang Hong after coming out, his crush on several fictional characters, always male characters. Phichit honestly wondered how he could have been so blind.

 

“Mind? Seriously, I’m actually happy that you trust me enough to tell me—what prompted you, to know, confess?”

 

“I’m glad.” A brief pause. “It’s well past two—do you really want me to keep you awake for much longer? It will be a long explanation.”

 

Sleep sounded tempting, though, on the other hand, it was Seung-gil they were talking about. Seung-gil had sacrificed so many things for Phichit’s sake, so he supposed that he could return that. “Sure, tell me.”

 

~*~

 

“Have you guys decided yet what you want to do next?” Guang Hong asked with a mouthful, earning him a disapproving (and faintly fond) look of Leo de la Iglesia. “I mean; this is your last year.”

 

“I hope that it’s my last year,” Phichit admitted, thankfully swallowing before answering. “I’m worried about biology. I barely made it last year.”

 

Seung-gil awkwardly rubbed Phichit’s arm. “You’ll make it. Turns out I’m pretty great in biology, and I’m still willing to tortu— eh, tutor you.”

 

Phichit’s beaming smile made Seung-gil’s heart flutter and warmth filled his chest. He had no idea what he would do if Phichit ever stopped smiling at him like that.

 

“But you guys do have plans, right?” Leo asked, sounding a bit motherly. Seung-gil dared to believe that it was the same tone he used on his siblings—all four of them according to Guang Hong.

 

“I’m applying for both a major in communication and photography,” Phichit said. “Still haven’t heard back of either of them, but if I get one yes, I’ll be applying to the college. Which, by complete chance, is the same college that Seung-gil will be going to.”

 

Neither Guang Hong or Leo were surprised by Phichit’s choice of majors, and neither of them believed that it was a coincidence that the two of them applied to the same college.

 

“So you _are_ applying to the same college?” Guang Hong asked, this time he had swallowed his food beforehand.

 

Seung-gil and Phichit nodded at the same time.

 

“So what did you apply for?” Leo asked as both he and Guang Hong moved their focus to Seung-gil.

 

Putting a wry smile on his lips, Seung-gil ducked his head and started to play with his food. He knew that sooner or later, he had to share it with the two of them. But it felt a bit too personal—he and Phichit had spent hours figuring out what Seung-gil wanted to do with his life (aside from marrying Phichit, but that was a detail he had failed to mention).

 

“I read,” he started. “I have read many books, too much to count. Lived many lives, so to speak,” he doubted either of them got it—it had taken Phichit ages to understand Seung-gil and his strange love for books. “And they were all heroes, and I wanted to be a hero too. But I couldn’t imagine myself being one.”

 

The table remained silence, giving Seung-gil no other choice than continue. “I’m not a Gryffindor or Slytherin, I’m a Ravenclaw at best. Smart but not courageous, not the hero. I would be a son of Athena, but aside from being smart, there is nothing. I would shoot a fellow camper if they even dared to hand me a bow, or I would stab myself. I would be the first one to die in The Hunger Games, I would survive a zombie apocalypse, but I would die of loneliness. I just—I wanted to be them, but I never could be.”

 

He could see them being confused—maybe he should have forgone all the book references. But he had been practicing his speech, feeling like it was the only way to really explain why he had picked his major.

 

“But sometimes a hero doesn’t wear a cape,” Phichit supplied, his fingers brushed gently against Seung-gil’s hand. “Sometimes, all they need is a lab coat and a proper education, and they can become their own hero—with a crazy student loan, but we aren’t talking about that,” Phichit rushed the last bit, already trying to forget the large sum of money that studying will cost them.

 

Guang Hong gasped, which was followed by a loud squeal. “A doctor. You want to become a doctor!”

 

Looking up, Seung-gil was almost blinded by the beaming smile Guang Hong offered. “A veterinarian to be exact,” he corrected. “I don’t like people much, but I like animals. And save one girls bunny, and she thinks you’re their hero or something.”

 

A hero. It was ridiculous, and Guang Hong reaction was ridiculous. Many people wanted to become vets. It didn’t make him a hero.

 

On the other hand, it wasn’t too weird, looking from where they came. Many years ago, Phichit had laughed at the idea of Seung-gil doing anything resembling hero-like. It was just him and his books. But now. Now Phichit had been the one suggesting it, encouraging Seung-gil to apply for the pre-med program. It was scary how well someone—Guang Hong—managed to ‘predict’ Seung-gil’s future. Because he never had wanted to become a vet, at least not as a kid. He had considered a job at the library, because he loved his books. But a vet sounded better (his parents had been surprised with his choice, but supported him nonetheless).

 

~*~

 

Seung-gil had never been happier to accidentally poison himself. The vomiting hadn’t been pleasant. He was sure he had spent most of his morning and afternoon hovering above the toilet or camping close to the bathroom, just in case. But in the end, it was worth it. Around the time evening hit, he had felt reasonably well. Well enough to walk around, eat a bit and lay down on the couch and read a book. And, the best thing of them all, he had a good excuse to miss prom.

 

The only reason he would have gone in the first place was Phichit. His best friend has insisted they would go together—as friends, of course, because Phichit had more romantic chemistry with his phone than with Seung-gil—and as this would be their last chance to go to prim, graduating and all soon. With Phichit being so excited for it, Seung-gil could hardly say no. But having barely eaten anything, and still feeling a little queasy, he had called Phichit to say that he couldn’t come. Food poisoning and such. Phichit had almost kicked down the door to check on him (and to see if he tried to bail). When he realised that Seung-gil hadn’t been lying, he had spent the rest of the afternoon comforting Seung-gil and passing the time before leaving for dinner, and after that, prom.  Because Phichit had been dreaming of this moment, a big room filled with well-dressed teens, a lot of cheap music and Seung-gil wouldn’t be surprised if someone smuggled some alcohol in the drinks.

 

After Phichit had left, Seung-gil ended up lounging on the couch at seven in the evening. Life was pretty good—food poisoning aside. His parents were out for a family visit, a trashy TV-show was playing in the background, and a good book was ready to be read.

 

With his evening plans in motion—reading and sleeping—Seung-gil was startled by the ringing of the doorbell. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and he wasn’t practically in the mood to get up from the couch. Also, he wasn’t sure who it could be. It couldn’t be his parents, they would have returned earlier if they had forgotten anything, and Seung-gil could hardly imagine who else it could be. The rest of his friends were preparing for prom (despite that neither Leo or Guang Hong were graduating this year). Maybe it was a sales person? Seung-gil didn’t want to get up from the couch to just turn away someone trying to sell him a magazine.

 

Already decided to ignore it and return to his book, he almost missed his phone buzzing.

 

_Almost._

Picking up his phone, Seung-gil saw that Phichit had texted him.

 

_Phichit [19:08]: Can you open the door?_

 

Bookmarking his book and muting the television, Seung-gil grabbed the keys from the console table and unlocked the door.

 

Opening the door, a little, Seung-gil let out a breath of relief as he recognised Phichit, and just Phichit. He had briefly feared Guang Hong and Leo were there too, trying to convince him to still come.

 

“Come in,” Seung-gil muttered, letting Phichit in and locking the door after his best friend/neighbour/love of his life.

 

“What are you doing here?” Seung-gil asked as he dropped the keys in a clay bowl. “You know that’s prom night?”

Phichit wasn’t even dressed for prom—he was wearing flip flops, a pair of sweats and a faded Hogwarts t-shirt.

 

Phichit shrugged nonchalantly and plopped down on the couch, stealing Seung-gil’s blanket without a second of hesitation. The guy remained foolishly fearless.

 

Taking in the uneasy look on Phichit’s face, Seung-gil opted to grab a chair, placed in front of his best friend and sat down on it.

 

“Tell me,” Seung-gil said curtly. “What’s eating you?”

 

Curling up further into the blanket, Phichit shrugged. “Nothing, really.”

 

Seung-gil concluded that, in fact, _something_ was bothering Phichit. Firstly, because Phichit should have spoken more than two words by now. No greeting, no ‘how are you’, and the ‘nothing, really’ was pretty rich coming from him, as he looked miserable. Secondly, because Phichit only withdrew himself from social interaction when he was distressed. And currently he was withdrawing himself from social interactions.

 

“We both know that you are lying,” Seung-gil said, feeling guilty for calling him out like that.

 

Phichit shook a little, his hand trembling as he clutched onto fleece. “I,” Phichit started, his voice shaking a little. Then he started to tear up and Seung-gil wasn’t sure whenever he wanted to hug Phichit or punch the person that made him cry. “I told my parents.”

 

 _Told my parents what?_ Seung-gil wondered, but he didn’t dare to ask quite yet. Phichit now was crying silently, completely disappearing into the fleece blanket. First, comfort, then questions.

Seung-gil got up and grabbed the box of tissues which was strategically placed close-by (tears were too often shed during movies) and Seung-gil plopped down next to Phichit. He knew that the closeness would bring familiarity and comfort—at least he hoped. After placing the tissue box in Phichit’s lap, he immediately pulled one out, Seung-gil started to ran his hand over Phichit’s back. He was bad at comforting people.

 

“I will grab something to drink,” he said, patting Phichit awkwardly on the back before getting up.

While Phichit was calming down, Seung-gil had unmuted the television to create some background noise, made tea, filled a glass with water (easy to drink), dug up some painkillers for Phichit’s upcoming headache and ‘borrowed’ his mother’s emergency stock of cookies. They were Phichit’s favourite, and his mother would understand.

 

When Seung-gil had run out of things to do, he sat down next to Phichit and waited. Phichit had taken this as an invitation to start crying into Seung-gil’s shoulder, which was both gross and made his heart swell and race a thousand miles an hour.

 

He was too gay for this.

 

“What did you tell your parents?”

 

Phichit let out a deep sigh, hands still trembling as he picked up the tea-cup. “I told my parents I like guys too.”

 

For a few seconds, Seung-gil’s mind had drawn a complete blank. He was in a loss for words, which didn’t happen often. Phichit was bi? Since when? How? Who? Why hadn’t he told Seung-gil? The last thing bothered him the most. Phichit was the first one who knew about Seung-gil’s sexuality, and for Phichit, he was just an afterthought?

 

“There is nothing wrong with liking guys,” Seung-gil said, as if Phichit was sad because of his bisexuality. He probably wasn’t—Phichit was pretty open-minded about everything, and his parents were cool. They wouldn’t mind.

 

Phichit smiled, even though it was faint, barely there. “I know that,” he said, curling up further into the fleece and sipping his tea. “But I was scared.”

 

“Why?”

 

Phichit was rarely scared—especially unnecessarily scared—horror movies were scary, and calling people was scary, but coming out? Well, Seung-gil had been scared shitless, but he wasn’t sure where Phichit stood with him being gay. Phichit was perfectly aware what Seung-gil’s opinion was on different sexualities. He was perfectly fine with them.

 

“Because the reason I bothered to come out is that, well,” Phichit blushed a little, hiding his face into the cup of tea. “I want to ask the guy out I like, and I wanted to tell my parents beforehand. To avoid surprising them and being questioned over it. Well, they asked questions, but they weren’t particularly surprised.”

 

Seung-gil, honestly, fell a little bit sick. Of course, Phichit would eventually find someone he liked, romantically. But it would have been easier of Phichit had liked a girl. Because crushing on a straight guy was one thing—he had no chance whatsoever. But crushing on a bi guy would mean Seung-gil’s crush would be actually unrequited—because it could be unrequited.

 

As Phichit clearly didn’t want to say anything, and Seung-gil was afraid he would vomit if he opened his mouth, the room lapsed into silence. Well, the television created some noise, which was nice. It wasn’t uncomfortable quiet per se.

He wasn’t sure what to say. Phichit was his friend first and foremost, and his stupid feelings could shove it. He would cry into his bedroom once Phichit would leave, ignore Phichit for a few days and try to move on and not lose his best friend.

 

“Hey,” Seung-gil whispered, ignoring the way his heart clenched painfully. This was a terrible idea. “Tell me about him?”

 

Phichit let out a puzzled noise.

 

“The guy you wanted to confess to, the reason you came out tonight. He must be exceptional.”

 

Exceptional indeed, because that guy was the luckiest guy alive. Phichit was a wonderful person, and Seung-gil would be willing to do almost everything to be that guy.

 

“Oh,” Phichit’s voice had gone soft, and Seung-gil almost felt him scoot closer to him.

 

 _Almost_.

 

“He’s wonderful.”

 

That was a good start. Well, at least Phichit was properly smiling again, his eyes twinkling with delight. He still looked a bit nervous, but it was far from the way he previously looked, sad, defeated, slightly miserable even.

 

“He’s handsome. Not that I ever realised it, really. We were friends before I figure that I was bi. But he has really pretty hair and eyes, and he looks endearing. He is a bit awkward, but that’s a part of his charm. His charm, honestly, is everything. He’s geeky, he likes his books and he has a dry sense of humour. He’s a bit emotionally stunted, but aren’t we all?”

 

Phichit laughed awkwardly, sipping his tea. It must be cold by now, but he still sipped it.

 

For a few seconds, Seung-gil dared to believe that it was him. But then he realised plenty of guys fitted Phichit’s description. They were teenagers, so most of them were emotionally stunted. And there were enough geeky guys in their year. In his head, he was already constructing a list of people who met this criteria, Katuski Yuuri being his first suspect. He was in their year, gay, and he fitted the description. Yuuri was geeky, adorable and pretty handsome, b he was also awkward and shy, which was way more endearing than Seung-gil’s incapability to _understand_ people.

 

“And foremost,” Phichit continued, voice shaking. Seung-gil was startled out of his inner monologue.  

 

“He makes me so happy,” Phichit continued. “He’s always there for me, and he’s the best friend I could have asked for.”

 

He knew that his heart was still beating—otherwise he wouldn’t have been aware what was happening—but Seung-gil was still sure that his heart stopped beating. Phichit’s wonderful guy was his best friend, and Phichit had only one best friend. Him. Phichit had a crush on him. _How_?

 

“Me?”

 

“Yes,” Phichit sounded so defeated, sadness thick in his voice. “Pretty silly, right? The guy falling in love with his best friends—though thankfully you aren’t—”

 

“Stop,” Seung-gil blurted out, flailing with his arms. “Don’t—I. You know that words are hard, for me.”

 

Phichit let out a weak chuckle, but there was the familiar amused spark in his eyes.

 

“I know,” he said softly. “I also know you will let me down gently—even if it takes you the entire night to figure out the words.”

 

Seung-gil’s heart was pounding in his throat. His hands fell clammy. Why did his body hate him so much? Why the betrayal of emotions?

 

“I don’t,” Seung-gil started, unable to form the words he wanted to say. Why was he so bad at this?

 

After several attempts to speak, he decided to take the direct approach (hoping that he wouldn’t startle Phichit). Thankfully, Phichit had put down the tea. Gathering the sliver of courage that he had left, Seung-gil pressed his lips against Phichit’s. At least, he tried to. The angle was a bit odd, so he was kissing the corner of Phichit’s mouth instead of his lips. But he supposed that it would convey his feelings nonetheless.

 

The kiss was brief and awkward, which was to be expected from a first kiss. (Though Seung-gil wasn’t sure what the rules were for first kisses. Did this actually qualify as a first kiss?) It didn’t help that Phichit had frozen up, shock painted plainly on his face.

 

“Wh—”

 

“I love you,” Seung-gil blurted out, startling both himself and Phichit. He hadn’t planned on the love confession. In his head, he had said those words many times. But he never had said them out loud.

 

“You what?”

 

Phichit was watching him with disbelief, shock and—and _hope_.

 

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Seung-gil nodded. “I mean, you and young Harrison Ford were my ‘gay awakening’. Honestly, it always has been you. I just thought it was never returned, as you never shown any—”

 

He was silenced by Phichit’s thumb, which pressed gently against his lips. Opening his eyes, Seung-gil saw that Phichit had moved closer. They were almost breathing each other’s air. They were so close that they were only inches away from kissing. This was like a detailed recreation of a romance scene from one of his books, if not multiple books.

 

“Young Harrison Ford _is_ handsome,” Phichit admitted, his eyes were bright with both joy and unshed tears. “But I like you an awful lot more.”

 

To demonstrate the fact that he actually meant it, Phichit removed his thumb and pressed his lips against Seung-gil’s.

 

Seung-gil wasn’t going to hide the fact that Phichit’s lips had featured many of his dreams. More often than not, they were pressed against Seung-gil’s. The kiss varied from steamy to tender—like the one that was going on right now—but occasionally they wandered. His neck, collarbone, down his chest and—

 

Uhm, yeah. He was seventeen, almost eighteen, and he had hormones. He had a couple of inappropriate dreams, in which Phichit starred, _a lot_.

 

In all fairness, Seung-gil had expected his first kiss to be entirely awkward, short-lived and not with Phichit. This kiss was the opposite of it all. It felt right, Phichit’s lips were warm and soft against his, and each movement send electricity down his spine (but in a good way, getting shocked sucked). It wasn’t short either, as Seung-gil was pretty sure he had been spacing out for a solid ten seconds. He hadn’t reacted at all, and Phichit was still kissing him. He would have retreated after a handful of seconds out of embarrassment.

 

Phichit was the one to end the kiss when his smile grew too big, nipping Seung-gil’s bottom lip before pulling back. A love-struck smile was painted on Phichit’s lips, causing Seung-gil’s heart to skip several beats. Why did Phichit have to be this beautiful?

 

“Can’t believe I rendered you speechless,” Phichit teased, bumping his shoulder gently against Seung-gil’s.

 

Seung-gil snorted in disbelief. “Speechless? You know I rarely talk.”

 

He was seriously considering banning the word ‘silence’ from his vocabulary, but that was the only way to describe the situation. It was quiet, silence, but Seung-gil’s mind was buzzing. Phichit liked him romantically. He hadn’t expected that. He had hoped, of course, but expecting? Not in a million years. Because Phichit was the sun, bright and warm and Seung-gil was… the moon? Only shines because of the sun and cold. But that would make opposites attract, so that wasn’t the best choice of comparison.

 

“There is one thing I don’t get?” Seung-gil said slowly. “Were you planning on confessing to me during prom?”

 

Phichit fidgeted uncomfortably, a bright flush settled on his cheeks.

 

He nodded. “Yes, I mean, if things were awkward, we could avoid each other for a bit. But I at least wanted to come out on you. I owed you that much after you came out to me. And, honestly, my plans didn’t change that much. Only I’m not at prom but snuggling up with you in your family home.”

 

To his own surprise, Seung-gil was grinning. A little. His cheeks were painted bright red, and he was pretty sure his lips were slightly swollen from the little bit of kissing he did. He looked like a mess, an idiot, and he should be mortified to look like this, _act_ like this around anyone. Because Seung-gil didn’t smile, blush or looked dishevelled (okay, the last one was a lie, his bedhead was legendary). He was usually very in control of his emotions. Though, _usually_ was the key. As soon as it involved Phichit on a personal level, Seung-gil couldn’t hold up the mask he perfected over the years. Phichit could read him like an open book, so why bothering to hide it? Hiding his emotions wouldn’t get him anywhere this time, he didn’t want to. It was time for him to be brave and channel his inner Gryffindor.

 

“You’re an idiot,” Seung-gil said, hesitantly leaning into Phichit’s warmth. “I have been in love with you for years, and I thought it was obvious. Leo and Guang Hong knew, and I never told them.”

 

Phichit shook his head. “I mean; I knew that you liked someone. But I could never figure out who you like. I’m not particularly surprised that my detective skills failed me. I was never looking this close at home to figure out who your love interest was.”

 

Trying to hide his rapidly spreading blush, Seung-gil ducked his head and grabbed the first thing in reach, his phone. Trying to distract himself, he checked his messages. There was nothing, but the time read that it was getting awfully close to eight ‘o clock. Prom was almost starting.

 

“You still can go to prom; you know?”

 

“Seriously?” Phichit said as he plucked Seung-gil’s phone from his fingers to force him to face him. “You want me gone that badly?”

 

He couldn’t figure out whenever Phichit was joking or not.

 

Seung-gil wasn’t panicking. Okay, he was, but he hoped that Phichit wouldn’t pick up on that. Had he already screw it up? He was so sure that Phichit wanted to go to prom no matter what. It was his last chance after all.

 

“No,” Seung-gil said. “I don’t want you gone, it’s just—”

 

Words. Why were words so hard? “I will be there tomorrow, prom will not.”

 

“I’m too tired for prom,” Phichit said, faking a yawn. “I would rather cuddle with my soon-to-be boyfriend.”

 

Words had completely abandoned him. Soon-to-be-boyfriend sounded so weird, but he supposed that they would be boyfriend, in the near future. That’s usually how relationships progressed, if the feelings were mutual of course. And Phichit wasn’t uncomfortable to lie against.

 

# ~*~

 

Never in his lifetime Seung-gil had expected that cuddling was this nice. He had shared a bed with Phichit before—it was marginally better than the air mattress—but they always kept their distance. Not that it was possible to keep much distance between them on the couch, it was a small thing really. But Seung-gil didn’t mind now. It was actually nice and it wasn’t awkward as it previously would have been. The blanket Phichit previously had stolen had been thrown over them, too small to properly fit them but it still was toasty.

 

“This is nice,” Phichit sighed. “I should have confessed earlier; I would have gotten more cuddles.”

 

“You wouldn’t have had time for cuddles,” Seung-gil grimaced at the word ‘cuddles’. “You’ve been studying for weeks.”

 

“Spoilsport.”

 

“Lazy.”

 

Phichit pouted. “Sorry that I’m not as brilliant are you are.”

 

He really wanted to hit Phichit, but he knew that it wasn’t the right way to go. (violence was never the right way to go, though it was sometimes very tempting).

 

“At least you aren’t socially awkward.”

 

“Fine,” Phichit said, his annoyance poorly conveyed. “Let’s call it a draw. Can I kiss you?”

Seung-gil was relieved by Phichit’s request. He had wondered where they would draw the line with consent. Subtle touches were generally fine—he was so used to them—but he probably would freak out if Phichit suddenly kissed him.  

Phichit smiled brilliantly and leaned in for a gentle kiss. It was a nice kiss, and Phichit smelled nice (though he could have done without the tang of sweat).

 

“Is it stupid to wish for this night to never end?”

 

“Technically it isn’t even night, as the sun isn’t down yet.”

 

Clamping his mouth shut, Seung-gil wanted to do nothing more than hide in his room and sulk. He had just completely ruined a romantic moment. Even a silly time-travel joke would have been more appropriate.

 

Phichit seemed to agree, as his face twitched slightly. Seconds later, he snorted loudly and let out a barking laugh. It was if Seung-gil _was_ actually funny.

 

“I can’t believe you said that,” Phichit said, slightly out of breath. “You’re so adorable.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“You are,” Phichit said, rubbing their noses together. It shouldn’t feel so lovingly, but it did. Everything Phichit did made him feel like a love-sick fool.

 

Then a horrifying thought occurred to him. “What are we going to tell our parents?”

 

Phichit laughed sheepishly. “Well,” he started, not meeting Seung-gil’s gaze. “I told my parents I would confess, to you. They weren’t surprised.”

 

“Do you think,” Seung-gil felt his voice shake.

 

“That our parents talked about this?” Phichit finished and Seung-gil nodded. “I think so.”

 

And as if summoned by their words, the loud noise of a key twisting in a lock echoed through the house. His parents were home and Seung-gil wanted to do nothing else than fade into nothingness. Maybe he had enough time to abandon Phichit and run up the stairs—but he didn’t quite want to throw Phichit under the bus. Or in this case, into the interrogation cell because they looked too dishevelled to be casually chilling. He was fucked.

 

~*~

 

“I can’t believe Phichit actually confessed.”

 

“Well, it was more likely that Phichit confessed than Seung-gil, no offence.”

 

“None taken,” Seung-gil pinched the bridge of his nose. “I would have taken it into my grave.”

 

“That’s a bit dramatic.”

 

“I’m dating you.”

 

Phichit let out a horrified gasp. “But you love me.”

 

“Gods know I do and I don’t know why.”

 

“Maybe because the two of you are childhood friends? You spend most of your lives together. It was bound to happen.”

 

“Wait, you guys are childhood friends?”

 

Guang Hong shot his own boyfriend a deadpanned look. “They live next to each other.”

 

“I lived my entire life next to the same person but we aren’t childhood friends.”

 

“She is the same age as your grandmother.”

 

“Still.” Leo threw his arms up in the air.

 

“Why are we friends with them?” Phichit asked in a faux whisper.

 

“Don’t ask me. I had no choice in becoming friends with you, you were pestering me.”

 

“Because you seemed lonely.”

 

“And I thought you were an alien.”

 

A silence fell, only to be broken by Guang Hong’s loud laughter. Leo joined him soon after. Seung-gil felt mortified, his face burning up. Thankfully, Phichit look shocked, slightly embarrassed. It wasn’t every day that your boyfriend called you out to be an alien.

 

Boyfriend. That sounded so weird. But on the other hand, them being boyfriends had changed a few bits. They weren’t allowed to share a bed during sleepovers anymore, and Seung-gil felt a tad more comfortable with Phichit. Like, that little sliver of doubt had disappeared into nothingness.

 

“If I’m an alien,” Phichit almost shouted. “That means you’re in love with an alien!”

 

Nevermind, the whole boyfriend thing wasn’t so weird. Neither he or Phichit had changed—this entire conversation was a statement of that. He would never truly understand love, but that was fine. He had Phichit, and to an extend Leo and Guang Hong, and his parents, and Phichit’s parents. Even if Phichit’s family maybe were aliens. After all, it required a special kind of person to like Seung-gil.


End file.
